Over the Canyon and Down the Freeway, to Grandmother's House We Go!

Monday, November 28, 2011

So, I have a confession to make: Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday. Don't think me un-American.

It basically comes down to the fact that it's a LOT of work and therefore not very relaxing--and "relaxing" is something I highly value in a holiday. Face it: Thanksgiving scores pretty low on the relaxing scale--at least for the women. (Am I right, gals?) In fact, I often think that if one made a "Thanksgiving Clock" it would say "COOK" on the positions from noon to six, then "EAT" at the six o'clock position (for about half an hour)and then "CLEAN-UP" for positions six-and-a-half through twelve. Frankly, this is an unacceptable ratio of preparation and cleanup to eating. Now, I love to eat but not enough to justify an entire day in the kitchen! But having said all of that, I really did enjoy Thanksgiving this year. You might say that as Thanksgivings go, it took the cake! (Er, pie. And incidentally, my favorite holiday is July 4th, which should clear up any question of my patriotic loyalties, so stuff that in your bird and eat it!)

Anyway, this year we took a trip to St. George. You see, James' Aunt Ellen planned a Thanksgiving reunion between the Bentleys and the Lymans. James has fond memories of his Bentley cousins--they did a lot together growing up and they're an all-around good bunch--so everyone thought a reunion was a great idea! The Thanksgiving dinner/reunion was to be held at a church right by the St. George temple. So we loaded up the car and headed out on Wednesday afternoon. We went as far as Cedar City and spent the night with Bryan, Angie, Lexie and Hoyt. (Thanks again, guys!) Bethany LOVED playing with her cousin Lexie, who is just one year her junior. Here they are, reading books before bedtime:



We didn't get a chance to visit a lot before bed, because it was quite late when we arrived. So Bethany and I went to bed while James and Bryan, who wanted to stay up and do some brotherly bonding, went to the garage to talk (since we had transformed the living room to our bedroom, essentially shutting down any social gathering area). Anyway, may I just say that I appreciated very much James and Bryan going to the garage to talk and laugh, since I was able to enjoy the silence and drift off to dreamland . . .UNTIL I dreamed that the guys got cold, started the car, and asphyxiated. Which led me to awaken abruptly at 2:00 a.m. and notice that James was still NOT in bed with me. Which led me to believe he HAD asphyxiated, as per my dream. Which led me to madly dash/stumble in the darkness in my highly disoriented state to the garage, sans glasses, to throw open the door and see for myself that James and Bryan were, in fact, alive and well and rather astonished to see me suddenly appearing thus. So I gave them the thumbs-up and stumbled back to bed. (Note: James and Bryan are NOT stupid enough to start and run the car in an enclosed garage. They're actually both very intelligent men. But I don't think rationally at 2:00 a.m., hence the drama.)

Anyway, after that point, Bethany started waking up every two hours simply because we were in a place other than home. ("Mom, I CAN'T SLEEP!") AND I started dreaming that the turkey wasn't cooking and that I was about to give everyone botulism on Thanksgiving Day (something I'm quite sure no one would be thankful for). AND my air mattress was very squeaky, which wasn't conducive to a good night's rest. So Thanksgiving Day started on a very "tired" foot! But we're tough old codgers and despite being tired, we proceeded to enjoy our day. I DO admit that I love watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I especially enjoy watching the Broadway numbers--I'd love to attend that parade someday! But I digress.

After we awoke and got ready for the day, and did some last-minute Thanksgiving preparations (which included carving the perfectly cooked turkey, thank you very much), we headed to St. George for the big feast. Here we are at the church, enjoying good family, good food, and good fun!

Aunt Ellen with Mom and Dad Lyman:



James feeling happy after eating chocolate pie I brought. (Just call me "Marie Calendar" and don't ask too many questions about whether or not I baked it.)



Bethany spent hours on the stage, dancing with the kids:



And sword-fighting with the kids:



And generally ordering the other kids about all day. To illustrate: as I was helping with the dishes, I heard Bethany yelling phrases like "YOU CAN'T BE IN OUR PALACE!!" and, "THE PASSWORD IS MAID MARION!!" and "YOU MUST DO AS I SAY!!!" In other words, she had an incredible time. (And we'll perhaps have some Family Home Evenings about toning down the bossiness.) But Bethany thought that that church was the most awesome church building she had ever seen and she informed me she wants to live there--right there in St. George, in that church. But I digress again.

After dinner and visiting and games and such, we gathered around and sang--first we jammed with popular songs, then mellowed things out with Christmas carols. Stan played piano and Chris was on the guitar, and we sounded pretty good if I do say so myself (and I do).



That was really fun, sitting around singing/jamming like that. But all good things come to an end, as they say, so all too soon it was time to call things a night. We were looking forward to staying with my Grandma and Jay, who recently bought a home in St. George and became "snowbirds" this year.(For anyone not familiar with the phrase, a "snowbird" is someone who lives here in Cache Valley during the warm parts of the year, and down in St. George during the winter months. The opposite term is "sunbird," which is when the folks from Arizona come up to Logan for the summer.) So after leaving the church, we called Grandma so she could tell us where they lived. It took about ten minutes to get to their house. It was SO good to see Grandma--I've missed her so much! I didn't want to stop hugging her.

And then I walked in and saw this, and angels started singing!



Bed, I love you. Bed, I want to marry you. Bed, you are my best, best friend!I was very tired at this point, you see. So we called it a night and hit the sack--after a quick tour of Grandma and Jay's new home--which was beautiful! This is my favorite picture--Grandma-Great reading a bedtime story to Bethany:



The next day we woke up and were generally fussed over and pampered with a huge breakfast. (Grandparents are simply the best!) And after we were all ready for the day, all five of us jumped in our car and headed for Zion National Park. Our theory was that everyone in the world would be Black Friday shopping so we'd have the whole park to ourselves! Well, that was a nice theory, but there were TONS of people at Zion. Oh well--we still had a wonderful time! And this is why:



See, I'm all about scenery like that. Oh, and like this:



Ooooh, I just love, love, love it!!! I was eating it up, because I knew I'd have to come home and face the cold. See, it's winter up here. But down there . . .



WELL HELLO THERE, AUTUMN!!! And the weather was perfect. And Zion was awesome. Here are cute Grandma and Jay, hiking to the Lower Emerald Pool with us:



And here Bethany and I are, at the Lower Emerald Pool, pretending to take a shower in the waterfall:



Here we are as a family, about to start our hike:



The girls at the Emerald Pool:



Which, incidentally, is kind of a let-down. The name "Emerald Pool" conjures up something pretty incredible. The actual "Emerald Pool" just looked like a whole lot of mud to me. But as it was nestled among such pretty scenery (and a waterfall, to boot), I'll let it go. I love this picture of James and Bethany I snapped on the way back. Bethany sure loves her daddy.



That night, we went out to dinner at Red Robin and then hit the pool to swim, swim, swim. At Grandma and Jay's HOA, they have an indoor heated pool--ah, heavenly!! Bethany had a ball and splashed around like a little fish. We had dolphin races (James was the dolphin) and played "sea witch" (I was the sea witch) and had a wonderful time as a family! And we also succeeded in wearing out the Bethie Boo, who fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

The next day, the five of us drove to Snow Canyon to play in the sand dunes. That place is SO much fun! A giant sand play land!



We could have stayed all day, soaking in that lovely vitamin D, squishing our toes in that soft, soft sand . . .







But we had to go, dang it. We had to leave for Logan and we were pushing things on time. We did, however, take a quick detour to "Jenny's Canyon," which intrigued me because of the name.



It was a really easy hike (I say the word "hike" loosely--it was a walk in the park) and it led to a really cool slot canyon:





Bethany loved exploring:





And so did I!





And so did Indiana James:



We were all very sad to leave Snow Canyon, St. George, and Grandma and Jay. We had such a wonderful time! In fact, we tried to work out our schedule to stay another day, but our Sunday was just too packed to miss. Darn responsibilities! But when we left, we waved to the end of the block.



Goodbye, Grandma. Goodbye, Jay. Goodbye, sunshine. Goodbye, blue skies. Goodbye, red rocks. Goodbye, palm trees. It was a Thanksgiving weekend never to be forgotten--and for all the right reasons! I'm truly thankful for the memories we made. :0)

Channeling Our Inner Michelle Kwan(s)

Thursday, November 17, 2011

During the month of June, Bethany and I took a parent/child "Learn to Skate" class at the ice arena up the road. I figured if I was ever going to learn to ice skate, a class of four-year-olds was the safest bet for my skill level and self-esteem. Everything is relative, you know. Put me in a rink with anyone, say, over FIVE years old and I'd look like a complete novice/bumbling idiot. But with the four-year-olds . . .ka-pow!!! I look like Michelle Kwan!! (But not as pretty, or slender, or talented, or limber, or athletic, or disciplined, or young, or graceful, or Asian . . . otherwise, absolutely like her in every way.)

Anyway, turns out I love to skate. Just me being able to stand up and not fall on a regular basis made me feel like a total rock star. Bethany and I had a blast! Here she is on her very first day--so cute! This was before I wised up and dressed her in coat and mittens, etc. Turns out the ice rink is cold--even in the summer. Who knew? (Well, I suppose the real Michelle Kwan knew. And anyone else who's ever been skating before. And anyone who has ever spent more than two seconds pondering the temperature of an ICE rink.)



But we got smarter as we went. Here are some fun shots from our four weeks in the rink!









I am SO going to be a figure skater after I'm resurrected--after I'm not afraid of things like paralysis and death, etc. It will be my new calling in my life-after-life! So here's to a happy eternity of skating. I hope they have sparkly costumes there. I want a pink one. :)

Q: Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

A: To go trick-or-treating!

And that, folks, is an original Bethany Lyman joke that she made up all by herself because she was a . . .CHICKEN for Halloween! Well, technically she was a rooster. A "girl rooster," which would, I suppose, make her a hen. But rather than get into all of those nitty-gritty definitions of barnyard fowl, we just called her a chicken, which we figured covered our bases. Anyway, here she is!



And since Bethany chose to be a chicken, it naturally followed for us to be chicken farmers (since we spend so much time chasing her, it seemed apropos).



BTW, I thought James was a very attractive chicken farmer. If his new career doesn't work out, we may just have a backup plan. Oh, and in case you're wondering--our name tags said, "Lyman Chicken Farms--Putting Our Eggs in One Basket."



(Please no commentary about how I really look like an Australian who collided with a colorblind mechanic--and not a chicken farmer at all.) Anyway, this is us at the ward Halloween carnival. We were so lucky this year that Julie, Lizzy, and Sarah were able to come along too!



These cousins sure do love each other:



On the actual day of Halloween, James was given a real trick--a bad stomach bug that made him violently ill. So he wasn't able to come trick-or-treating with us that night, much to his dismay. If there's one holiday James can really get behind, it's one that allows door-to-door begging for candy! But Bethany had fun with Julie, Lizzy, Grandpa Higham, Bobby, Megan, Alexie, and me! Here we are before hitting the neighborhood. (Megan's cat face makeup was unbelievable! And if you're wondering who that creepy guy is on the right, that's my dad. He scared people all day long and really enjoyed it.)



Note: I will hereafter call our subdivision "Trick-or-Treat-o-Rama." OH MY GOODNESS. Such a busy place and so much fun to trick-or-treat in! The kids got tons of candy and the weather was SO warm--I didn't even wear a coat! Anyway, we also made Jack-o-Lanterns this year, which I failed to take pictures of. You'll just have to take my word for it that they were awesome.

And not to sound all "Forest Gumpy" or anything, but that's all I have to say about that. The end.

The Baby That Almost Was

I'm not sure how to blog about this. I actually don't really want to--an unusual feeling for me. But it's part of our family history and so I suppose I should document it somewhere--and it's just so much easier for me to record things here than to actually take a PEN and write things out by HAND in my journal. (I'm so ashamed that I've become too impatient for that sort of thing.) Besides, I have all of these pictures that I took and although I initially just wanted to delete them all, Bethany and James asked me not to. So what to do with the pictures if I don't blog? And so many people have been concerned, so I thought I'd lay out the whole story once and for all. People have been so loving and so kind; I think an explanation is warranted for all who have cared so much.

Anyway, here it is (and I'm going to protect the birth mom's identity by calling her "C"). During the very last week of September, we started corresponding with "C," who was considering placing her baby son (due Nov. 1) for adoption. She had a lot of questions for us, which we answered very candidly and honestly. After writing back and forth a few times, C wanted to meet us. So we arranged a time to meet at the Logan LDS Family Services, along with her caseworker and her dad. Here is a picture of the gift basket we brought with us to that meeting:



We had heard she'd had a hard time sleeping, so we put a bunch of Bath and Body Works Aromatherapy stuff in there, along with a relaxation CD and bags of my (very yummy!) homemade chocolate chip cookies. At the meeting, C told us that she had chosen us to adopt her son. It was a good meeting--emotional in a good way. We all posed for pictures (but I won't post them here).

Anyway, after that meeting we continued to correspond and then in mid-October, C invited us to the ultrasound at the doctor's office. It was really fun to see the baby--he had chunky cheeks and was so cute! They did a 3D ultrasound. After that appointment, we had C and her dad over to our house for dinner. That's when they met Bethany for the first time. (Again, we have pictures but I won't post them.)

On October 18, James, Bethany and I drove to Pocatello to pick up C. She was living in Idaho Falls but her doctor was in Logan, so she didn't want to be that far away. (Also, it would have been more convenient for us for the baby to be born in Utah.)So C's dad drove her from Idaho Falls to Pocatello and we met her there. After hitting a restaurant for some grub, we made our way back to Logan. My parents had graciously offered their basement to C--my parents live around the corner from us--which was nice, because our basement isn't finished and one of the rules of hosting a birth mom is that she be provided her own bedroom and bathroom. So at my parents' house, she had her own basement, which worked out really well. We got her all settled in at my parents' house; prior to her coming, we had put flowers in her room to welcome her to "her" room. She seemed to appreciate that.

Over the next two-and-a-half weeks, we did lots of stuff with C and got to know her better. We saw her every day. I took her to two more doctor's appointments (I got to hear the baby's heartbeat both times--that's always such a miracle), I attended "group" with her at LDS Family Services, which was a lot of fun, we took her with us to the Pumpkin Walk (AND because of her condition, we got to drive around in a cart) and we shared lots of meals and talks and Jamba Juices. My mother was particularly attentive to C and they had many long talks. My father helped give her several blessings, as well. I can never thank my parents enough for all they did--throwing their house and arms wide open that way. We won't ever forget it!

The last week of October, my Grandpa Higham died. (I'll blog about that in another post--he deserves more than a brief mention here.) This meant, of course, that we needed to go travel to Gunnison (it's 200 miles away)to attend the viewing and funeral. So because we had to leave C here, her dad came down and took residence in the second bedroom my parents have in their basement. So he took care of her while we were away--although we did call her every day to check on her.

C was scheduled to be induced in the early morning hours of Nov. 1. So after trick-or-treating on Halloween, we all went to bed with great anticipation of what the next day would bring. (Oh, and I should mention that C's sister came on October 30 to be with C during that week. She was really great.) Anyway, at 6:00 a.m. on Nov. 1st, C's sister texted us to let us know that they were inducing C. That whole day, we sort of just "popped" in and out of the hospital. It was difficult knowing what our roles should be--we wanted to give her her space and respect her privacy, yet we also wanted her to know that we cared about her. I think we hit the right balance there.

Here we are in the labor room during a brief visit that day:



The labor turned out to be very difficult and long. At times, we were in the waiting room with C's dad, who kept us entertained by telling us lots of stories from his very exciting life. (I'm not being sarcastic--they really were great stories.)But by late that night, C still hadn't delivered and wouldn't for many hours. So C's sister sent us all home.

The next morning at 5:00 a.m., on Nov. 2, we were awakened by a text saying that the baby would be coming by C-section (no pun intended, ha ha!)and we were welcome to come to the hospital. So we called Annie (thank you, Annie!) to come and be here with Bethany and James and I got ready and headed to the hospital. Once there, we waited and waited and waited and waited. Finally, around 6:30 or so, C's sister came and got C's dad to take him back to the recovery area. (I believe he was going to bathe the baby.) C's sister had us go to C's labor room to pack all of their things. Once we accomplished that, we just hung around for a really long time. Around 9:00 or so, C's sister came and got us. We helped her haul all of their stuff up to C's recovery room and that's when we got to see the baby:



As you can see, he's very cute. We named him Zachary James Lyman. Here he is, enjoying his bath:



After leaving the hospital, we drove (with C's dad) to the florist to get some flowers for C:



And then we went home. We had told C that we weren't going to come back to the hospital unless she invited us--we respected that this was her "sacred time" with the baby. So we just went back to our day; James went back to work, I did my thing at home. Later that evening (around 8:00) C's sister texted us again. She said that C's brother and his family were there visiting and they wanted to meet us. So we took Bethany to the hospital and that's when Bethany got to see the baby:

Again, we took tons of photos but most of them have C in them, so I won't post. Anyway, that night C's brother, her dad, and James gave C a blessing. It was all very spiritual and good--C's brother was the voice and the blessing was beautiful. They also gave Zachary a blessing. Then we all hugged and exchanged contact info and went home.

The next day, around noon, I got a call from C's caseworker, Sandy. Sandy told me that C was having some serious doubts and was confused--struggling with her decision to place Zachary with us. Sandy told me that it "wasn't over yet" and to pray for C. As soon as I got that phone call, though, I knew it was over. I called James at work to let him know, then I pulled Bethany aside and broke the news to her that Zachary might not be coming home with us after all. That was a pretty hard moment. Bethany started to cry and she said, "But we got his room all ready!" and then "But he's so cute!" I wish we hadn't taken her to see him. But we really felt confident in C's decision to place him with us--she reassured us many times that she wouldn't change her mind. (I'm not trying to paint her as a "bad guy," just explaining why we felt confident. I know it was a tough decision for her.) Anyway, Bethany and I had a good cry together and a prayer, and we felt better after that.

Which begs the question: when do you tell your kids if you're planning to adopt again? I felt that involving Bethany was the right thing--I mean, you can't just "spring" a last-minute baby on Bethany. She likes time to adjust to change. Grrrr. I hate seeing my little girl get hurt. But you know, she bounced back really quickly. I'm so thankful! And at this point, we didn't know for sure which way C would go. It could go either way. But deep down, I knew that if she was having doubts, she wouldn't place. So we immediately started detaching ourselves emotionally, in preparation for her to change her mind.

The next day, Friday, November 4, Sandy called me again to tell me that C had decided to parent. So that was it. It was her decision and we respect that. So we then began the process of putting things back to our "pre-C" life; we took a trip to Target to return the crib set, the swing, and the other multitudes of things we had purchased--a whole car load. (Taking down a nursery is never as fun as setting one up.) We started the wheels going with LDS Family Services to refund our adoption money and pass-through funds money. We started the daunting task of returning everyone's baby gifts that people had been dropping by for the past two weeks. And slowly but surely, everything is now back to "normal" (apart from a box of diapers I still need to return).

Strangely, we're doing all right emotionally. Even taking down the nursery--it all felt very surreal and mechanical. One of the good things that came from this experience was the outpouring of love we received from our family and friends. Honestly, I had no idea that many people cared about us. It made me hopeful that maybe folks would come to my funeral someday! :0) We just felt (and still feel) SO overwhelmed by love and concern and prayers . . .we haven't really felt a lot of grief. We've said all along that we want the RIGHT baby for our family and we still feel hopeful that Heavenly Father will send us the right one at the right time. And if not, it's okay. We love our family just the way it is. For so many years, a baby was my "golden ticket." http://lds.org/general-conference/2011/10/forget-me-not?lang=eng But having a baby isn't my "golden ticket" anymore. We've just learned to be happy anyway, even when things fall through. Don't think we're "strong" or "awesome" because we're not. It makes me feel uncomfortable when people say we have an amazing attitude. The truth is, we're just used to this particular trial so we've learned how to cope and deal with it and be happy come what may. But throw me another trial and I'd probably fall apart completely! I guess it's kind of pathetic to say this, but we've just had practice with disappointment in this area.

And Bethany is doing great. Just this morning, one of her little friends was over and I got to eavesdrop while Bethany explained to her friend what had happened--and why the nursery wasn't a nursery anymore but instead was her playroom again. It did my heart good to hear Bethany explain things. She told her friend that C had had "too hard of a time saying goodbye to Zachary," and she decided "not to place him in our family after all." But then Bethany said, "But we feel very peaceful about things."

And that pretty much sums it up. Thank you so much, everyone, for the love, support and prayers. We're so very grateful! We love you!

Every "Buggy" Loves the Pumpkin Walk!

It's no secret that the Lymans are big fans of the North Logan City Pumpkin Walk. I've been attending every year since it began (I was in high school), but the crowning visit was October 28, 1994, when James and I went to the Pumpkin Walk on our very first date! Say what you will--the Pumpkin Walk was a very romantic first date. The flickering lights of the Jack-o-Lanterns, the cold, twinkly stars overhead, 10,000 other people crowding us closer and closer together. . .yep, the Pumpkin Walk holds a special place in our hearts and it's firmly entrenched as a yearly tradition!

And this year was extra fun, too, because we actually helped with a display! Our Families Supporting Adoption chapter (of which we've been co-chairs for the past two years) did a scene and it was so much fun! The theme this year was "My Favorite Things," which worked out perfectly because . . .



And as over 50,000 people attend The Pumpkin Walk every year, we felt this would be a great opportunity to promote a positive view of adoption in our community. (There are still so many misconceptions out there about adoption and it drives me crazy, but that's another subject for another day.) Anyway, our committee talked back and forth about what to do for our scene--the original idea was to do a Dinosaur Train scene, since Dinosaur Train has an adoption theme with Buddy the T-Rex being adopted into the Pteranadon family. But then my friend Tabitha, who graciously headed up this whole Pumpkin Walk undertaking, came up with the idea to do a scene from Miss Spider's Sunny Patch Friends, which apparently is about a spider family who also adopted some other bugs. And since we thought bugs would be easier to create out of pumpkins than dinosaurs, we went with her fabulous idea!

We all met at Devanie and Dorian's house to paint the pumpkins, which was a lot of work but we had a great turnout so that really helped move things along quickly!



James was the "Eyelash Man." I know that doesn't sound as manly as say, "Superman" but believe me, his eyelash making skills were very impressive. Maybe he can be "Spiderman" since the eyelashes were for spiders (albeit spiders made of pumpkins).



Painting the backdrop:



And I have to insert, here, that MAJOR PROPS go to to Tabitha. She worked so hard to organize everything about our scene, from conceptualizing the idea to getting the pumpkins to organizing everyone's efforts to setting up. Tabitha, you're wonderful! And this is the final result:





And some of the cute little characters. Please note the eyelashes, a la James. Thank
you.









We loved our scene so much, we went to the Pumpkin Walk THREE times! Twice at night with friends, and once in the day:



Ta-da! Our first doing-a-scene Pumpkin Walk experience. I think we'll do it every year--it was so much fun! Here are just a few more of our favorite scenes.

Bethany's favorite scene was "Plants vs. Zombies," since she loves playing that game on Daddy's phone. (The object of the game is to stop the hoards of zombies coming toward your home by strategically using plants to fight them off before the zombies eat your brains. All right, so it doesn't sound that uplifting to hear it described that way. But truly, it's a fun game in a bizarre kind of way!)

Anyway, the zombies:



The weapons (Bethany could tell you exactly what each weapon does):



The sunflowers and lawnmowers--the last line of defense!



We also really, really liked our friend Becky's display of Tangled!



And these Bambi and Angry Birds scenes:





Yup, we love the Pumpkin Walk around here! And it wasn't even that cold this year--another plus! Happy 17th anniversary of our first date, James!